Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
love makes seman taste better
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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