1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
