Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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