i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
