It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize