did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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