8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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