I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize