No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
