I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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