..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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