So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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