ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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