Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
