I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Fuck appropriateness.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
PANTIES FOUND
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