i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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