I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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