is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
