Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
