i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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