dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
