We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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