Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
