Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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