I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
