Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
