is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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