Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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