Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
