he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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