I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
