I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
