so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
