i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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