i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
it's like heaven, but drunker
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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