STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
