WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
