if you like me you must not know who I am
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
