I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
