why didn't you poke me back
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
