Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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