Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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