i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
