white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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