Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm really into asian looking animals
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
