I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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