I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
