508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
