I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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