community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
