I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
