Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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