I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
