Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
