it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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