I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
