that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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