I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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