Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize