i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
