i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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