the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
