When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
