you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
